Ladies' Man
by moonlightfloweryuen
Summary: Sai has trouble talking to girls and Naruto tries to help him. Sakura misses Sasuke terribly. Sasuke is still on a journey. Will the last Uchiha return to Konoha? What could possibly go wrong?
1. How It All Began

**LADIES' MAN**

Summary: Sai has trouble talking to girls and Naruto tries to help him. Sakura misses Sasuke terribly. Sasuke is still on a journey. Will the last Uchiha return to Konoha? What could possibly go wrong?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. All rights served.

A/N: After a couple of years, I finally got the time to post a fan fic here! The storyline might be predictable but I want you, yeah you reader, to enjoy it. Oh and the pairing here is SasuSaku alright? Not SaiSaku or NaruSaku. ^_^

**CHAPTER 1: How It All Began**

* * *

**FLASHBACK  
**

The two ninjas charged forward, screaming with all their might:

"RASENGAN!"

"CHIDORI!"

A powerful beam of light appeared when the two chakras collided. The battleground was engulfed exponentially by the beam of light. No one—not even Sakura, Kakashi, or anyone from afar could tell what would happen next. For a minute, these people were either in worry or fear.

When everyone regained their sight, they saw the two ninjas lying down.

"NARUTO!" cried Sakura as she ran over to him as Naruto lost his consciousness.

After a few days, Naruto woke up in a hospital bed with Sakura and Hinata by his side. The two girls smiled seeing Naruto awake at long last. "Where's Sasuke? Is he here? Home? In Konoha?" The shinobi asked to his two female comrades. Hinata looked down. Sakura sighed in great disappointment and moved her head sideways.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

* * *

Another day has passed after the war. Naruto sat in the very same swing his younger self was whenever forlorn years ago. His head was facing up and his eyes stared blankly at the sky. The blonde shinobi, known as one of the heroes of Konoha, is still down in the dumps.

He swore to many he'd bring the last Uchiha home. The best friend he had before he left the village. Sure they fought over the smallest of things but since Sasuke left Konoha, Naruto's fights with him were not the same childish ones. Naruto wondered how come the people are not mad at him: he saved the ninja world, countries but he couldn't bring his best friend back home.

Naruto pondered until he felt someone standing beside him. He looked at his right. "Sai!" he greeted. "Hey." Sai replied. Naruto noticed something different about him: on his right cheek lies a red mark. Naruto's lips curled and formed a grin like a _Cheshire_ cat's. "What's with the red mark on your cheek man?" he asked. "I was talking to Sakura and she punched me." Sai answered. "Sakura has a short temper Sai. The three of us have been working together for years and you still don't know that? What happened?" Naruto scolded. Sai began to narrate the reason behind the mark on his cheek.

* * *

**SAI'S POV**

"Hi Sai!" Sakura chirped.

Sakura's energetic countenance impressed me considering what happened recently. I wanted to make her happy so I smiled at her and said "Hey ugly!" Her blonde friend giggled. Sakura approached and murmured to me, "Sai, don't forget what I told you the last time we talked about this: BE. NICE." I nodded at her and remembered that I should say the mere opposite. Her blonde friend cajoled to me, "Hey Sai."

I just have to do this for Sakura. So the next two words came out of my lips:

"Hey gorgeous."

The blonde friend of Sakura grinned from ear to ear. Her eyes widened because she was pleased, I think. Sakura's eyes widened too. I think her eyes widened out of awe and her mouth was agape open. I guess I did good.

Before I knew it, Sakura dragged me to a corner forcefully. Her grip was tighter than usual. I guess what I did wasn't right.

"What the hell Sai? WHAT THE HELL?" Sakura chastised to me, "You can't go around Konoha complimenting women to such extremities!" The pink haired girl then took a deep breath and instructed:

"I think it is better—much better, if you don't give anyone nicknames anymore. Let's stick to "honesty is the best policy" sort of rule alright? Now I will ask you something and answer me honestly but polite."

I nodded in agreement.

She began to question me"Is the weather lovely?"

_"Why yes." I answered._

"Do I look ok?"

_". . . yep."_

"This is going very well better than what I anticipated." Sakura happily said.  
She took another deep breath and asked "Differentiate me and Tsunade."

_"You and her?"  
_

"Yes Sai. Me and her."

_"Hmm. . ." _I paused for a moment. Suddenly, I felt a newfound confidence in this not knowing why so I began to differentiate their differences.

_"For starters, she is old and you are young."  
_

Sakura's face began to brighten.

_"Your hair is as pink as the cherry blossoms and her hair is as yellow as the lemons."  
"Both of you are intelligent on the medical and battle field."  
_

Sakura seemed so whimsical with what I said, so I continued...

_"She has large busts and yours are _

She balled her left hand and punched me before I could finish my sentence.

* * *

**NORMAL POV**

"WHOAH!" Naruto exclaimed. He can't believe he was hearing such a story from Sai. "I was stating the facts. I thought it was the most polite way to be honest with her." Sai defended himself. "Well Sai... if you want to get along with girls, then you have to be like one of them!" Naruto advised mischievously. "That's just. . ." Sai was cut off by Naruto. "I'm not telling you to be a gay man! I am telling you to look like a girl for a couple of days and hang out with Sakura. Get along with her. At least she won't punch you." There was an awkward silence until...

"What should I do?" Sai asked.

He was ready to do anything to be friends with Sakura again without insulting or saying anything impertinent to her. Naruto beamed and began to teach him.

A/N: Was it supposed to be short? Kind of. I'm still trying to be "elaborate" on the emotions/features/situations of the characters since I usually write "directly." I'll get to write on that type of style if you guys want it. Just you wait.  
Oh and for those who didn't get the flashback, Naruto and Sasuke simply fought. The result was a double knock-out and Sasuke didn't come back to Konoha with Naruto... or will he? Stay tuned!


	2. Almost Everything Comes Together

**LADIES' MAN**

Summary: Sai has trouble talking to girls and Naruto tries to help him. Sakura misses Sasuke terribly. Sasuke is still on a journey. Will the last Uchiha return to Konoha? What could possibly go wrong?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. All rights served.  
Some of the words and sentences Naruto used to teach the jutsu came from Chapter 2 of the Naruto manga (Volume 1).

A/N: Here it is guys The second chapter. I'd like to thank my dear readers for keeping up with me. I'd also like to thank my friends who encouraged me to keep on making this fan fic. You know who you guys are.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Almost Everything Comes Together**

"First off," Naruto said, "Remember: "Imagine", "Concentrate", "Have", and "Alter" are the keywords throughout this plan. In short, the "ICHA" concept." Naruto noticed Sai's attention. "He really wants to be friends again with Sakura!" the blonde shinobi happily thought. Naruto continued, "OK! The basics are 'Bon, Kyuu, Bon'! Now do it!" Sai did as asked from the keywords to the basics and the hand.

POOF!

Naruto not only found Sai's weakest jutsu but also- where he has poor opinions of.

The artistic Sai was simply poor in transformation jutsus. But who can blame him? Naruto and Lee find Sakura pretty and Sai doesn't find any kunoichi pretty.

Sai, the man who paints is not excellent with nude art.  
Naruto simply didn't like the transformations Sai did. Sai's first tries in performing the sexy no jutsu resulted to obese or emaciated women. Sai transformed into a female that has a disproportionate body after several tries: the shoulders were too broad, the limbs were too muscular or the bone structure was too masculine. The last time Naruto saw Sai's transformation, it resulted to a gloomy girl who is tall and lanky. Observing the patterns of Sai's transformations, Naruto thought to himself, "What kind of girl is Sai attracted to?"

* * *

Meanwhile at the Konoha Gates...

There are two guards at their stations by the gates of the leaf village. It is in the middle of a summer afternoon. The two shinobi guards could feel their sweat free fall on their temples. "Oh man, it's hot." The first guard said. "Yeah, tell me about it." The second guard said as he wiped his temples. "I'm going to get a bottle of water. It's way too hot, dude. Do you want me to get you one too?" The second guard asked. "Sure dude. Be back here as fast as you can. I don't want to die alone." The first guard gagged.

After a few minutes, the second guard returned and tossed a bottle of water to his companion."Thanks man." The first guard acknowledged. "Is someone special coming today?" The first guard asked. "Well, the higher ups didn't tell me anything." The second one answered. "Alright so let's play a game: I'll give you a word and say something theatrical about it." The first guard proposed. "Alright. Guess this won't cause much chaos." The second guard replied.  
The first guard began the game, "Romance."

_The second guard gave away a statement, "You complete me."  
_

"Drama."

_"How dare you! How could you do this to me?"  
_

"Hahaha. How about some mystery?"

_"Ok. So let me tell you that this door is a secret passageway. This will probably give us the answers we need." The second guard says as he points at the gate.  
_

"Hahaha. Give me some adventure!"

_"The answer is in the horizon."_

"ACTION!"

"I SHALL RETURN!" The second guard shouted with such passion. Suddenly, there was utter silence between the two. The two guards heard the door open slowly. The door let out a slow, low-pitched creaking sound as it opened. A tall man went through the doors of the Leaf Village. There was no stopping him. Even the guards couldn't stop the lad from entering the village. The first guard was shocked. His countenance was as if he saw a ghost. A ghost he wouldn't dare to mess with. The guard's companion was simply in awe for he admired the skills of the shinobi who passed by them. When the man who passed the guards reached a kilometer away, the guards began to find a way to notify their bosses. They wrote on a small piece of paper and sent a bird to the location of their bosses. Written on the small piece of paper was:

"Please notify the fifth Hokage and Naruto about a visitor who has entered the village. He may be of no threat but. . .

The last Uchiha has finally come home."

* * *

It has been three hours since Naruto has been teaching Sai the technique. Sai's transformation didn't please the blonde shinobi. The transformations done were disproportional, exaggerated, disgusting, displeasing and terrifying in spite of Naruto's guidance. "No, no, no!" Naruto exclaimed. "You're still doing it wrong." He continued and sighed exasperatedly. Naruto thought "Why are some of Sai's transformations terrible? I told him everything. It's so ugly I want to throw up!" After calming himself down, Naruto suddenly smiled mischievously. The yellow haired ninja thought of another way to help his friend in changing into the right figure. "Wait right here Sai! I'll be right back. Just you wait. You can practice for the mean time. Think of the most beautiful woman you've met alright? You can do it Sai!" Naruto instructed with some supporting statements. Then Naruto ran away, leaving Sai to continue perfecting the jutsu.

Sai was alone. The black haired ninja took a deep breath. "There's no turning back. I have to do this." He thought to himself. "As awkward as it sounds... Imagine (the most beautiful woman I met), concentrate (on her features), have (it), and alter (yourself into the figure)." He recapitulated onto his thoughts. His hands then moved swiftly to the necessary hand seal. His mouth opened with a voice loud and clear, "KAI!"

POOF.

Sai felt different this time. Aside from not hearing Naruto's disappointing critiques, he felt confident. As if he did the technique correctly. A cool breeze passed by Sai. He felt a sudden chill by the wind and light by the new body he changed himself into. Sai was satisfied with the transformation. It was just as he imagined it to be. The body was simply flawless. The black haired ninja couldn't believe he did it! He felt his new, long, and black hair at the back of his small waist. His saw that his new busts are not shaggy, large, or underdeveloped. Instead, the bust in the transformation he did was firm, contact, and supple. His limbs were toned but not as muscular as it used to be. Now his limbs looked more . . . feminine like Sakura's and her friend's. He soon noticed that his hips are larger than usual. On top of that, he was naked. He's now a bare and bonny lass. Sai was just speechless. Before he could sense an approaching presence, he heard a shriek behind him "Oh my!" He slowly turned around to see who it was. The voice wasn't from Naruto and he doesn't intend to get into trouble to Yamato. The female who saw him had pink hair. He froze as he saw her. It was the girl from earlier. The pink haired kunoichi, Sakura.

Sakura was speechless. She was in shock seeing a beautiful lass so bare in the middle of Konoha. She gathered her confidence. She approached the gorgeous, bare, raven-haired lass. "What happened? Are you alright?" She asked with concern as she undressed her cloak and placed it on the lass. The raven-haired lass gave her a small smile and said, "I don't know. But I seem alright. I don't have any bruise or cut." "Don't worry, I'll take care of you. From now on, you're my friend and I'll protect you." Sakura said to her. The kunoichi introduced herself to the stranger, "The name is Sakura. Haruno Sakura." She placed her hand on the stranger's shoulder as they walked to her place. Little do they know that Sasuke saw the entire thing happen.

* * *

"Sai!" Naruto called out as he ran back to the place he left his friend. He was carrying different magazines until "ACK! Aw Man!" He grunted. The great ninja fell for a trap and dropped all of the magazines. His foot was hung up near a tree's branch; leaving Naruto upside down. He heard a smirk as he brought his kunai to cut himself off from the rope. The smirk was no ordinary, insulting smirk. It was one kind of smirk he has not heard in ages. The smirk no one does but Sasuke. His eyes widened as he fell to the ground. "Ugh..." Naruto grunted upon landing on the ground. Then he opened his eyes and heard a figure from a distance. "You're still a dobe."The arrogant ninja commented. "Sasuke?" Naruto said in surprise as he faced his body to the direction to where the voice came from. Water formed on his eyes and an upward curve formed across his face. "You came back. " He happily said, trying to stop his tears from slipping out of his eyes. He didn't know how to react considering he was so doleful hours ago. So doleful that his thoughts began to consume his esteem. Suddenly, his blood rushed to his face, "TEME!" he growled, "How could you put a trap on me!" He continued. "Why not? You got out of it anyway." Sasuke nonchalantly answered back.

Sai found it awkward as he and Sakura walked around the streets of Konoha. Yes, he is used to the stares he received from the past. But this time, the stares he felt was different: he got stares of lust and malice. It was not breath taking but cringe taking! The cloak he wears that Sakura lent him reached the middle of his thighs. He felt his sweat trickle down his newly found curves. He felt a hot sensation every now and then when the breeze swept in between his feminine legs. "I have to maintain my focus or it'll be over." He thought to himself in spite of the uncomfortable circumstances.

"Don't worry, we'll be there in no time." Sakura whispered to her new friend. After passing a few blocks ahead, the two girls entered a building. The pink haired kunoichi gestured to the stranger to enter her unit. "Tell you what: go straight and enter the door to your left. Take a shower and change into the clothes in there." She added. "The clothes should fit you. I'm supposed to wear it later today but I think you need it more than I do." Then she took a short pause and said "Then we talk."

Meanwhile, Naruto suddenly remembered Sai and thought to himself "Where could Sai be? Could he gone over to Sakura? How on earth does he look like? Worse... did he go around the village with his clothes on? I forgot to tell him not to forget his clothes when he transforms!" "How long will you keep that annoying, goofy face Naruto? Don't I get to see Sakura?" Sasuke asks bluntly.

As the black haired lass entered the bathroom, she undressed herself from the cloak and reverted back to her original form. As a man, he stepped into the shower and bathed as fast as he could. Then he performed the technique once more. "Kai."The ninja muttered under his breath and became a kunoichi. Thanks to the mirror, he spent ten minutes in changing himself into the perfect form he was when Sakura saw him as a girl. Luckily Sakura didn't check on him from time to time. Then the black haired girl began to dress herself up. She was almost done until she picked up a piece of clothing that has a cup and strap on each side. "34 A. . . " She read out. She didn't know what that meant but she proceeded into sliding the strap onto her left and right shoulder but she couldn't enclose it. Not only does she not know how it works but it was also too small on her.

As Sakura waited for her guest to come out of her bathroom, different questions started to bombard her:

"Who is she?"

Inner Sakura: You gotta ask her.

"Why was she in the training ground?"

Inner Sakura: Just ask her! Geez!

"Why is it taking so long in there? Could she be a spy or something?"

Inner Sakura: Why don't you go there and see how she's doing?

"How did she get through the village gates?"

Inner Sakura: Why are you so paranoid?

"Because it's the first time I see a stranger looking so unaware in a training ground. She was so lost in thought!"

Inner Sakura: Oh yeah! Maybe she raped a ninja!

"Oh shut up you!"

Inner Sakura: How am I supposed to? I'm a part of you!

"Oh come on."

Inner Sakura: Listen to me! Wait for her to come out of that bathroom and then interrogate her until you're not paranoid!

The cherry blossom haired kunoichi got up and approached the bathroom door. Before she could knock, there was one more question that puzzled her:

HOW DID SHE GET THERE COMPLETELY NAKED?

Sai opened every cabinet in the bathroom until he found Sakura's medicine cabinet. She sighed in relief and began to search for any bandage. Sakura sighed. Then Sai heard a knock on the door. "Hey, um, is everything alright?" Sakura asked from the other side of the door. Then the door was slightly opened. She saw the girl give her a nod to assure her. It seems to Sakura that she's almost done getting dressed. She decided it's best to go back to the living room, prepare some tea and wait for her.

Sai saw Sakura to be relieved. Sai closed the door, bandaged her breasts, placed the shirt on and got out of the bathroom at long last. Sakura beckoned her to sit across her to the sofa.

"You don't talk much do you?" Sakura asked.

". . ." The stranger remained silent.

"I'll be asking you a couple of questions. Answer them honestly alright? I won't sell you or anything."

". . ."

"Who are you?"

". . ." Sai had to think of a name. Then her lips began to move.

"Sayuri... Sai's maternal relative. I came looking for him."

"Really?" Sakura raised an eyebrow then continued,

"Does he know?"

"Oh yes. We were close until he went missing."

"Oh so how did you get here? Where I found you? It's kind of restricted."

"I honestly can't remember."

"What? You're also telling me that you don't know how you ended up naked? Were you raped or something?"

"NO! I was travelling on my own. I got into a little problem so my clothes got all wet. All I had left was a blanket. So I covered myself in the blanket. When I woke up, I began to wonder around naked since my blanket and bag was gone." Sayuri just didn't like the thought of being raped in her sleep.

"You still sound suspicious to me Sayuri." The pink kunoichi stood up and went to the bathroom. She saw a brassiere lying down on the floor. Sakura was speechless seeing her guest walking around her place without one. Sakura went out of the bathroom and came up to Sayuri. "Sayuri. I think we should get you some clothes." Sakura said.

A/N: Okay that's all for now. Sorry if it was a little short. By the way, the jutsu is the "Sexy no Jutsu" Naruto uses when he was ten or twelve in fooling the third Hokage and Jiraiya. Does Sai have a female relative in real life? Of course not! That's a part of my fan fic alright? I think the next chapter will be pretty exciting for you guys.  
I'll be posting the third chapter as soon as I can before school starts so stay tuned!


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